Do Not Assume!

Hi all,

I have been busy on a personal project recently so haven't been able to post very much - many apologies! However, what I have come to learn is that it seems to me that when you have a problem and start to do things to tackle it you grow in ways that never even occurred to you prior to the problem arising.

I have had a problem with some-one living close by to me for some time and issues really came to a head recently. As a result I started to study the relevant law surrounding the situation and came to learn some very interesting facts. And it brought me back to a lesson I learnt a long time ago. And that is that many of our problems with living and communication arises from assuming.

We assume we know how the world is, (which is more than most of the time not how it really is but how we think it should be). We assume that we know what other people are thinking, (and a lot of the time we are wrong). But I think the biggest problem is that we assume that others will react to situations as we do, (and are surprised when they do not).

What I have learnt in life is that it is best to not to assume and better to actually find out.

Many people in my personal life think that I seek to clarify the obvious but that is not the case. I seek clarification from other people about their perspective as a reality check because I do not assume that their reality is that same as my reality. In other words things are not so "obvious".

The best example of challenging assumptions is one I came across about thirty years ago. I sat opposite a very attractive man on the London tube and flirted with him outrageously. I was only twenty years old and fresh in London. When the opportunity arose I crossed the aisle and sat next to him.

Now even if this sounds egotistical I was actually a model at that time and very aware of my own attractiveness. Certainly I was used to, and enjoyed, the attentions of men. And the attention I got was usually very sexually charged. So after chatting enthusiastically to this very charming man for a good half hour on my journey I was convinced he was going to ask me for a date. So imagine I was somewhat surprised, and chagrined to say the least, when at the end of his journey he got up. shook my hand and thanked me for a pleasant conversation.

As he prepared to get off the train he took his jacket off. Underneath he was wearing a tee-shirt which bore the legend "How dare you assume I am heterosexual? Have a good day!" And with a wry smile he disappeared out of the tube and my life.

Well that taught me a lesson didn't it? Don't assume. Get to know!

Until next time,

As always,

Blessed be,

KK


"Most of us can read the writing on the wall; we just assume it's addressed to someone else" -

Ivern Ball