Do Not Assume!

Hi all,

I have been busy on a personal project recently so haven't been able to post very much - many apologies! However, what I have come to learn is that it seems to me that when you have a problem and start to do things to tackle it you grow in ways that never even occurred to you prior to the problem arising.

I have had a problem with some-one living close by to me for some time and issues really came to a head recently. As a result I started to study the relevant law surrounding the situation and came to learn some very interesting facts. And it brought me back to a lesson I learnt a long time ago. And that is that many of our problems with living and communication arises from assuming.

We assume we know how the world is, (which is more than most of the time not how it really is but how we think it should be). We assume that we know what other people are thinking, (and a lot of the time we are wrong). But I think the biggest problem is that we assume that others will react to situations as we do, (and are surprised when they do not).

What I have learnt in life is that it is best to not to assume and better to actually find out.

Many people in my personal life think that I seek to clarify the obvious but that is not the case. I seek clarification from other people about their perspective as a reality check because I do not assume that their reality is that same as my reality. In other words things are not so "obvious".

The best example of challenging assumptions is one I came across about thirty years ago. I sat opposite a very attractive man on the London tube and flirted with him outrageously. I was only twenty years old and fresh in London. When the opportunity arose I crossed the aisle and sat next to him.

Now even if this sounds egotistical I was actually a model at that time and very aware of my own attractiveness. Certainly I was used to, and enjoyed, the attentions of men. And the attention I got was usually very sexually charged. So after chatting enthusiastically to this very charming man for a good half hour on my journey I was convinced he was going to ask me for a date. So imagine I was somewhat surprised, and chagrined to say the least, when at the end of his journey he got up. shook my hand and thanked me for a pleasant conversation.

As he prepared to get off the train he took his jacket off. Underneath he was wearing a tee-shirt which bore the legend "How dare you assume I am heterosexual? Have a good day!" And with a wry smile he disappeared out of the tube and my life.

Well that taught me a lesson didn't it? Don't assume. Get to know!

Until next time,

As always,

Blessed be,

KK


"Most of us can read the writing on the wall; we just assume it's addressed to someone else" -

Ivern Ball

Aspiration to Love

*

Hi all,

Many thanks for all the messages of support that you have sent this week and isn't it amazing what a difference a week makes? I am on top of the world today.

As many of you know I am working on a project that I did intend to have ready by Christmas and hopefully this will come about. If not it will be ready in January 2008 at the latest. So it could either be an early Christmas present or a late one to yourself or someone you love, (and remember the two are not mutually exclusive!) The cost is £10.00 and all profits go to Charity.
If you want to place an advance order please do so at KrystalKlere@hotmail.com. And thank you in advance.

Meanwhile to keep you going a favourite saying of mine-

"Ah, Love! could thou and I with Fate conspire
To grasp this sorry Scheme of Things entire!
Would not we shatter it to bits-and then
Re-mould it nearer to the Heart's Desire!"

Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam

Until next time,

As always,

Blessed be!

KK

* Shravan Kumar lovingly carries his own aged and crippled father and mother on a pilgrimage; the story of his "pitra-bhakti" is told in the Ramayana

The Daemons of Self-Sabotage

Hi all,

Today I am writing about the daemons of self-sabotage because they are afflicting me right now. I am about to complete a project and I feel these daemons kicking in with all their fury. So I started by examining why I had these daemons still and after searching articles on the Internet and doing a meditation I realised on a subconscious level I was scared of success because I felt I didn't deserve it . Oh yes I had succeeded in other area's of life, that was OK but being a spiritual teacher - that I didn't feel I deserved. And oh the irony - in this area I have been accused of false modesty.

What was comforting is to see how widespread these daemons are. Now I don't mean by that I take glory in any one else's suffering just that there is comfort in that what affects you and me also affects the great and the good. And the comfort is that people have accomplished great things in spite of their daemons.

Usually I live with full awareness of my Soul but when these daemons kick in I feel small and unworthy. So I went back to the place where that feeling originated. And of course it originated in my childhood. I had a heavily critical and abusive father who both put me down and also expected to me at the same time to save the world. And I must admit at this point that I cried. I cried for that hurt little child who never deserved any of the bad things that happened to her. I realised that the compassion I extended to my father and my family I did not always extend to myself .

I also came to realise that overcommitment was a part of my self-sabotaging behaviour. So I decided to take today off. Today I am going to walk in the park( but not to get calories off.) Today I write this for myself. (If it helps others that is also good but it was written today for my own healing). That hurt little girl deserves a break and a treat. Today she is going out to play.

As always,

Blessed be,

KK